Caught you in the arms of another
I've been dying everyday since then

yeah.. problems.. why do we have so much of them? yeah.. i know that life is so short to be grieving over things.. in fact, just yesterday, im so happy, then, now, im sad again.. much like last week.. and the week before that.. my point is, i know i can be happy, i have seen me do it, experience it, but why do i tend to hug the sorrow even more.. dont i like being happy, being the carefree spirit that is shown in my outer shell called body.. yeah.. sometimes, self pity is just my favorite dish, maybe because i have a very low self esteem in some aspects.. yeah, sometimes, i feel i dont deserve to love.. ahaha.. a very sad thought.. thought if i would be accepting this reality, i would be free from most of my problems.. yeah.. i can still remember me saying that i have pretty much given up "love" yeah, it was just a few months ago right, i felt empty, so much different from the feeling of being strucked down, stabbed and crushed in a moment while flying, daydreaming and simply floating in another moment.. as always, if i am to chose between the feeling of emptiness o the unstable feeling of fascination and defeat, i would hands down choose the later, but the safer choice sometimes would be the better choice.. but i never wanted to be better, i always wanted to be the best..

UPDATE

i lost my phone, again.. tsk tsk.. but i already called globe so they would cut my line and re instate it after i get a new phone.. so im still keeping my number..

want a vector art or other traditional art? check [link]
she has good prices and her work is truly amazing! she made this, yay! go now, commission her!!!

well, before my cel got lost, i got a chance to talk to her! im happy.. ahaha.. making every little single sadness worth it.. moments like that are priceless.. its times like this that im happy that im loveless, cause i really appreciate every moment, none is taken for granted.. everything is felt upto the bottom of my heart.. im not sure if i would be happy later, what is important right now is that i was happy, even for a moment! plus thanks for all of you who cheered me up!


here are some of my favorite sad deviations..



here are some of my deviations that feature my sadness..



i dont deserve to be happy